Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Gluten Free Recipe!

This isn't something that I do often (ever), but today I thought that I would share with you a recipe I tried recently! I usually find these kinds of posts a little cheesy, but I think that this one will be different.

In keeping with all the latest trends, this is a gluten free recipe that I made for a friends barbecue this past weekend. Everyone seemed to enjoy it, so hopefully you will too!


I'll start off with the ingredients list:
- 2 pounds of uncured nitrite free bacon
- 2 pounds of 80/20 ground beef (I opted to be a little cheap and not use grass-fed. Shhhhhhh.)
- Cheese (as much as you see fit). I used Boar's Head 3-pepper Colby Jack.
- Jar of jalapenos. Use fresh if you want. 
- Barbecue Sauce. I used Stubb's.

First, take some of your bacon and cut it up into little pieces. Fry it up and feel free to snack. Take 12-14 slices of the un-cooked bacon and create a latticework of bacon-y goodness. I'm not going to go into full details about how to create this weave: put on your big boy/girl pants and figure it out!

Fuck. Yes.
Next, take your ground meat and season it as you see fit. Salt, pepper, maybe some garlic or something. Go nuts. Smush the meat out so that it forms a thin layer that is just about the same size as your bacon weave.

Now that your meat-mat is done, it's time to cheese that son'bitch up. Use whatever kind of cheese you like, but in my first attempt at this I found that grated cheese just wasn't cheesy enough. I went with a spicy cheese and I don't regret my decision.

Now it's time to add your accoutrements. (I know you like that word.) My first attempt at this recipe used Hillshire Farms Lit'l Smokies and it came out just too salty. This time around I used jalapeno slices and took that cooked bacon from earlier and dumped it on there. This is where the recipe becomes an art, not a science. Put whatever sounds good to you on at this point: pepperoni, bacon, pancetta, canadian bacon, scallops, tater tots, onions and peppers, avocado (mmm, maybe not), pulled pork or mozzarella sticks. You could also put some of that BBQ sauce on now; but I forgot to do it. Go nuts!

The next part is the trickiest part of the whole situation: rolling your meat. The ground beef will stick to the bacon a little, so you may consider spraying the bacon with cooking spray before you lay down your meat-mat. Start at one end and just roll it up. Try to keep your goodies in their as much as possible so you get a nice layered effect. Presentation counts! Keep the meat-roll as tight as possible so the cheesy delightfulness on the inside stays there. 

Not my meat. I forgot to take a picture of this step. Shit.
Once your meat-roll is nice and tight, grab ahold of your bacon lattice and roll back the other way; gently enveloping your meat-roll in a heavenly shroud of bacon-y happiness.

Now it's time to cook. Feel free to let your Meat Log rest for a while in the fridge to help compact the meatiness. I've now cooked this both on a grill and in an oven, and I personally prefer the grill. Something as phallic as a log of meat should be cooked outside on fire. While drinking beer and throwing a football. And throwing logs over fences. 

Get your grill good and hot and drop that sucker on. I cooked it on a layer of tin foil for a while, and then finished it off just on the bar grill. This allowed the bacon to get crispy without getting burned to shit. If your meat log is good and girthy (as it should be), then it's going to take a while to cook. True art can't be rushed (remind all the civilians about this fact). Occasionally open up the grill and baste your masterpiece with the rest of that BBQ sauce. Don't be stingy either.

Smells like Success!
Once it's done, slice this bad boy up and eat it however you please. Rumor has it that it'd be amazing on a biscuit, but we ate it as is. With our hands. And no shirts on. Enjoy!

There you have it, my gluten free masterpiece that will be perfect for all of you health conscious dieters out there! Remember: cholesterol turns into testosterone!

Have a great day and go lift something heavy!

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