Monday, August 4, 2014

Getting Big On A Budget

Most people are trying to get leaner all of the time, which is cool. But there's something insanely fun about going through a few months of just focusing on getting massive and girthy and strong as hell.

The list of things that are awesome about being Big is long: t-shirts fit better, you don't need blankets at night because you sweat so much, small children will want you to throw them in the air and you'll get a ton of pizza and beer from friends asking you to help them move. The worst thing about trying to get as big as a Mountain (see what I did there?) is how much it costs. Eating a shit ton of calories can get pretty costly, especially if you're trying to maintain some semblance of a reasonable body composition. Well, this blog post isn't going to be for those people. The topic of this post is getting gigantic and strong and doing it as cheaply as possible. There will be nothing remotely "healthy" about the food combinations and eating strategies that I talk about. If you're concerned about your fiber intake or if you're getting enough green veggies then this probably isn't the post for you.

Get Your Moneys Worth
When you're on a budget and trying to gain some weight, you need to concern yourself mainly with the amount of protein and/or carbs you're getting per dollar from a particular food source. This might cut out some of the foods you normally love to eat, but that's a sacrifice you'll need to make.

Here's a list of some foods that will give you a lot of macros and calories per dollar:
Eggs: a dozen for about $2.49
Tuna: you can usually find tuna for a buck per can (about 44g of protein!)
Rice: super carbs and you can get big-ass boxes of it for not a lot of money
White Potatoes: no idea what a 5 pound bag costs...but it's not a lot
Ground Beef: you can always find giant family packs of it on sale
Rotisserie Chickens: if you go to BJ's or Costco at like 9 p.m. on a Friday you can buy them 2 for 1!
Whole Milk: oodles of macros and it costs like 3 or 4 bucks
Turkey Breast: specifically the "hotel cut" (as my Dad calls it), but this takes some cooking
Peanut Butter: you can find big ass jars of it for cheap; plenty of calories
Beans: you can get them in any variety for cheap, and they are full of good stuff

Some notable foods left off of the list:
avocado: I adore them, but they are not particularly cost effective.
steak: if you can get them on sale, great, if not it doesn't fit the bill.
bacon: delicious and full of good fat, but expensive and provides very little protein per serving.
veggies: just not enough calories to make it worth your money.

Pro Tips
As someone who's been eating for Girth for a while (and been around other people doing the same) here are some tips that I've picked up along the way.
- Food prep: always important, but twice as important when you're eating to be giant. Always having the necessary food with you will keep your weight up and costs down. If you can cook food in vast quantities it will be even cheaper.
- Bowls and Spoons: probably the two most important things for someone looking to achieve significantly body proportions. Given the amount of food that you'll be eating, your best bet is to mash everything up into a bowl and consume it quickly with a spoon.
- Metamucil: might be a worthwhile supplement to help expel all of the incoming food products
- Condiments: food can get less delicious when you're consuming vast quantities. A bottle of ranch dressing will go a long way in getting things down your gullet.

photo credit: Lift Big Eat Big
Protein is a beautiful thing, but in order to gain some real mass you're going to need oodles of carbos as well. To the uninitiated, it may seem tough to continuously get that many calories into a meal at a time, so I'll share with you some of my go-to "recipes".

-Cup of Oatmeal with maple syrup, peanut butter and chocolate protein powder. Stir it up and get awesomer. 6 scrambled eggs with shredded cheese on top

- Bowl of Success: ground beef, beans, salsa, rice. Stir it up and get awesome.
- Tuna sandwiches (2). Make your tuna normally with mayo, spread peanut butter on both pieces of bread and put the tuna on. Consume it and get huge.
- 2 cans of tuna fish made normally. A sleeve of Town House crackers. (Thanks Cam)

- Shepherds Pie. Find a recipe and cook it. Go do front squats. Eat it with a big ass spoon.
- Meatloaf and mashed potatoes.
- Beef Stew. Not intrinsically "cheap", but becomes cheap when you cook 3 gallons of it and pour it over rice. Eat it with a spoon. Fucking gains for days.
- Box of Macaroni and Cheese with ground beef mixed in. Consume with a large spoon.

- Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches
- Quesarito from Chipotle (if it fits your budget)
- Protein smoothies: protein powder, peanut butter, banana, ice cream, donut. You're welcome.

As you can see, as many meals as possible should contain both protein and carbs for maximum girth acquisition. Sure, there will be times when you can only get your hands on 6 or 8 hard boiled eggs for a meal, and that's fine. You're still getting good macros, but probably a little light on the calories that you'd normally want.

Any cheap meals that have a high gainz quotient that I need to know about? Let me know!

Have a great day and go lift some heavy shit!

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